September 9, 2011 by lidwina
What part does sex play in casual relationships and in more serious relationships and how is this different in each type of relationship?
I received a wonderful email last week raising a question about the definition of 'casual relationship' opposed to 'serious relationship'.
I have some thoughts on this but I would love to throw this out to all of you for your thoughts as well.
The person who sent the question thought that, for her, a casual relationship becomes a serious relationship when sex comes into play. The person she was having the conversation with on this topic, a male, suggested that even casual relationships could be sexual.
I'm going to agree with both and I think what it comes down to is not so much the definition of 'relationship' but more the definition of 'sex'.
Sex can be present in casual relationships though, for many, this might be considered more something a man would do rather than a woman. The argument here is often that while sex for a man can be purely a physical act, for a woman sex is always emotional. The truth about this is that, I believe, that sex can be purely physical for a woman as well.
On the contrary though, sex in a serious relationship is more likely to be an emotional act for both of those in the relationship as this now becomes less about satisfying a selfish physical need for sex and more of a representation of one person's love and care for another by which sex becomes more a selfless act of pleasing another person.
So what then is the definition of 'relationship'? This one sent me scurrying to the dictionary which said, amongst other things, that "relationship is an emotional connection between people, sometimes involving sexual relations". Obviously there can be many kinds of relationships between people but I guess we most often think of relationship as an intimate connection between two people and if this is serious then indeed there may be a sexual connection as well.
This however is not the only criteria as for some couples sex is not present at all and yet the couple still have a serious relationship.
So, as my reader also suggested, "there is no answer to this, because of our sexual biases (or desires)", but a topic that is well worthwhile opening up for discussion.
What do you think?
If you would like to enter into this conversation please add your comments via the link at the bottom of this blog.
Author Info:?
As a qualified Counselor, Lidy specializes in helping individuals and couples make the most of their lives and their relationships .For more information about me or what I do take a look at my website: http://www.acouplesjourney.com. Enter your details and you will get a free copy of my limited edition ebook titled 'Relationships - A Couples Journey'.
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Source: http://www.datingaid.co.za/sexuality/whats-sex-got-do-it
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